My sugar sweet is so attainable
This behavior so unexplainable
The days just slip and slide
Like they always did
The trouble is my head
Won't let me forget
-The Killers Why Do I Keep Counting
-The Killers Why Do I Keep Counting
I think I have an aversion to complete and total happiness. Right now I have so many things in my life that make me intensely happy and satisfied. But I am like a child, fickle and easily wooed by something shiny and new, quick to discard things previously beloved. I slip into an old version of myself. It is part nostalgia, and part a desire to reinvent myself in old clothes. A strange dichotomy to be sure. A phase, I imagine. Or at least I hope. I have been a lot of who I thought I should be. But for some reason I want to morph that should-be with want-to-be. I have silly and wistful dreams about leaving everything behind, except my son, and deciding who I am all over again.
4 comments:
this is one of the many reasons why we are friends.
I love that you're always so honest about your feelings. I think that's part of what makes your writing so compelling.
As far as the Kiddie Kandids thing goes, I really don't hate them. I just think I have the sort of stuff they did in the eighties stuck in my head- lots of cheesy props like little washtubs and signs that say "baths, 5 cents". Do you have any idea what I'm talking about? I don't think they really do that stuff anymore.
Not that Kiddie Kandids is even an option for us- Lucy starts screaming the second we walk in to the mall, I can only imagine how pleased she would be if we expected her to pose for pictures while we were there.
I can understand that feeling. I know I say this all the time, but I love reading what you write. You are a great writer and very honest and I love reading it. I also love the pictures of Jonah too!
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